‘My unfailing love for you will not be shaken’

Isaiah 54:10

I’m not always sure we get how vast God’s love is; it’s too big to imagine, which makes it difficult when things get really hard. It would be so much easier if we could understand the depth of God’s love but then if we could, would it be God’s perfect, unconditional love or would it be our imperfect, human understanding of love?

About a year ago I was going through an ‘angry stage’ at God, which is always a bit awkward when your husband is training to be a vicar. But hey, I’m human! I was angry because God wasn’t healing me.

I’d asked to be healed and other people had prayed. I felt like I’d done everything I could to try and ‘get’ God to heal me. The OCD and depression I was feeling was becoming too much and I wanted it to go away; I wanted to be able to live a ‘normal’ life.

I was angry because I knew that if God wanted to heal me He could; He could take it away in a second, so I came to the conclusion that He just didn’t care.

I didn’t want to go to church; I didn’t want to do anything to do with God. I stopped playing my guitar – which was how I connected most with Him. I even started questioning if God was real.

Every now and then the thought that God loves me and wants the best for me would make it through the brick wall that I’d built between us. That lasted about 10 seconds, then the lies started again!

I was meeting with a wonderful friend who kept trying to make me face God instead of sitting with my back to Him. She let me rant and be angry and would challenge me. Eventually that brick wall started to fall down and I started to let God back in and speak truth into my life.

His love was and still is never ending and unfailing. Nothing I threw at Him (and still do throw at Him) makes Him run away or makes Him turn His back on me. He just stands there next to me with open arms waiting for me to realise that He is always there and will always love me.

God wants the best for all of us and absolutely nothing can take that away. Romans 8:35-39 tells us that nothing; no powers, demons, or anything else can separate us from God.

As we soak in the New Year, maybe commit to reading the Isaiah verse (and the Romans verses). Write them out and stick them on a wall you’ll see every day. Maybe by your mirror. Or by the door so it’s the last thing you see before you leave the house.

Then as you do your hair, check your face or you’re on the way out, you’ll have a reminder that God’s love will never be shaken; that His love for you is strong and unfailing. And well, that’s a pretty awesome way to start the day, and the New Year.

Naomi Magill is the former founding director of Friday’s Child (www.fridayschild.co.uk) which meets with girls who struggle with low self-esteem, mental ill health, chaotic home lives and everything in between. To read more of her story visit my blog droppingthemask.wordspress.com.