Joseph, Son of David, do not be afraid.

Matthew 1:20 NLT

Two thousand years on from that first Christmas story, the name of Mary is well known. She is revered as the mother of Christ. The father of Christ? No such thing. Joseph is a peripheral figure in the Gospels. We know very little about him – a carpenter, a dad to other children after Jesus, but not much else. Mary turns up in a couple of Gospel stories, and she’s there at the bitter end. Joseph just disappears.

It must have been hard for Joseph. His fiancée is pregnant. He’s heartbroken. He feels betrayed. How could she do this to him? She’s clearly not the girl he thought she was. Maybe she never loved him at all. How could he be so naive? He’s trying to do everything right, prepare for a new life with his wife to be. And then it all falls apart around him. He finds himself ridiculed – the guy whose fiancée cheated on him. The guy who’s going to raise this child and pretend he’s the dad.

The circumstances may be very different, but many of us share Joseph’s basic predicament: we didn’t get our first choice. Perhaps we didn’t get the exam results we needed. We never got the lucky break. Or maybe we had the big break and blew it. We made a mistake we can’t undo. Illness, depression or disability changed our plans. Someone we love needs us, and our own dreams go on hold. Like Joseph, we find ourselves living our second choice.

And yet, Joseph stuck by Mary. He supports her as best he can, and finds himself playing midwife to the newborn God. When the family are threatened, he has the courage to leave everything behind and get them to safety.

We don’t always get what we hope for, but there are no wasted lives with God. God works through failures and dashed hopes, broken dreams and second choices. We have no idea what role we might have in God’s divine purposes.